We Survived!

My last post was written through a blur of hysterical exhaustion as my beautiful baby boy decided to take a four week hiatus from all things sleep. Sleep deprivation over several weeks does weird things to a person, like make them sob at websites. I promised in my last post that I would let you know how I survived. The following are a few survival tactics I adopted, you may not agree with them, they may not be for you, but they were life lines for me.

1. Forget the housework.

If it doesn't immediately need to be done, abandon it. Yes, you're home will start to look like you feel but your energy is precious. I still managed the day to day jobs, dishes, putting away toys, laundry but anything beyond that required triathalon levels of energy on my part.

2. Recruit all help!

Your other half, grandparents, sisters, friends. Even if it's just for an hour or two so you can get a nap. I certainly got more demanding for myself during those four weeks (in a nice way, of course!). My family is very good for offering a helping hand and I found myself taking them up on offers to babysit alot more during those four weeks.

3. Sleep when your baby sleeps.

This was something I was never really able to do, I've never been a cat-napper. I found it much easier to snooze when my son had his nap during the day.

4. Be flexible if possible.

Don't be afraid to take a few steps 'backwards'. I started co-sleeping with my son again, even though he hadn't slept in my bed for a few months and had even moved into his own room. On nights I found particularly tough I brought him into my bed. He found it comforting and it helped him sleep slightly better. For me, it meant that when he did wake up I wasn't staggering up and down the halls ten times a night. He has since moved back into his own room with no trouble at all so don't panic about 'undoing' anything.

5. Remember they're not doing this on purpose.

The eight to ten month sleep regression is the result of your baby trying to process all of the huge developmental leaps and bounds they've been taking recently. They're sleep is just as disrupted as yours but with the added anxiety of all these new changes they're going through. One thing I read on this sleep regression phase was compulsive standing, this is where baby pulls him/herself into a standing position while still asleep and then wake themselves. I saw my son do this several times. I don't know about you, but as an adult that would freak me out!! Just remember they're going through a lot and need you to reassure them through these new changes.

Like I said, these were all my own survival tactics but I hope they can be of some use to someone else.

xx

Lowest Parental Moment?

For the last two weeks my son has been going through the 8-10 month sleep regression, which means his sleeping habits (if you can call them that as the name implies sleep) are all over the place. Which means MY sleeping habits are all over the place, or more precisely, shot to sh*t.


The 8-10 month sleep regression is to do with a huge developmental leap around about this age which makes sleeping difficult for babies. These lovely people explain it better than I'm capable of right now.The really fun part is while it officially lasts for about three weeks, it can last anywhere from two to six weeks. So far, it looks like my little darling and I are in it for the long haul. The first week was in inconvenience, the second week was a struggle, this week I'm zombified.


While I'm too far into the throes of this to offer any support or advice for anyone else, I came across this website http://www.askmoxie.org/2008/03/talk-about-the.html which resulted in my lowest parental moment. The line 'You're doing a good job' reduced me to a blubbering mess... yes, I was validated to the point of tears by a damn website. That's what sleep deprivation does to you.


I will write in depth about how I survive this (I'm assuming it's survive-able when all babies go through this). For now, I hope I haven't scared anyone. I just wanted to let other parents going through this that you're not alone! We're all in this big, sleep deprived, bag-eyed mess together. I'm sure we'll laugh at some point.... maybe.


xx

Eat Yourself Thin or Dodging Obesity During Pregnancy

Cook Yourself Thin is a show I've been watching on 4OD and I'm a bit addicted. Moreso for the Audrey Hepburn's ghost channeling host, Gizzy Erskine, than the low fat eating methods.

The source of some very tragic eye-liner choices for me recently

While I'm not going to be adding courgette to muffins any time soon (seriously), I appreciate the message of the show: Fad diets don't work, easy and healthy eating habits do. It's great to see a show that offers an education on food rather than swapping diets with the morbidly obese/anorexic or crapping into tupperware. That and I have a new obsession with the host. Look at her... just look at her!

That's enough of that, I can Google her home address on my own time

Anyway, back to food education. It amazes me how little some people seem to know about their grub. For the record I'm not a health fanatic or a foodie but even I know the odd piece of raw fruit or veg = good, a family size bar of chocolate for breakfast = bad.

When it comes to nutritional confusion and without deliberately trying to play into national stereotypes, the worst offenders I've seen from personal experience are the Americans where their tv advertisements (which are a force all of their own) seem to be 90% equal parts diet programmes and fast food. I was kind of shocked to watch a Jenny Craig ad consisting of a woman's statement that she didn't understand where she was going wrong with her diet was followed directly by a Pizza Hut commercial offering to deliver 2lbs of carbonara right to your door. Who needs 2lbs of carbonara?! However, that's my point in the extreme.

One of the most widely accepted misconceptions about food and diet is the myth of 'eating for two'. With women vulnerable to such complications as gestational diabetes during pregnancy and already obese pregnant women susceptible to a host of problems, including miscarriage and premature birth, 'eating for two' isn't just a myth but one that puts mother and baby at risk. Not to mention the added stress it puts on women who suffer badly with morning sickness.

I had morning sickness throughout most of my pregnancy. It really only let up for the last two months. I would still randomly have days of nausea but it wasn't as frequent. Being pregnant for the first time and unable to keep any food down was nerve-wracking, no matter how many books or websites told me not to worry and insisting that the baby was still getting nutrients. Eating during pregnancy became a bit of an obsession for me and in the early days of a first-time pregnancy everyone's testimony was gospel. Don't worry, you learn pretty quickly to ignore all of that 'helpful' advice (everyone came from a uterus thus they're all experts, y'see). 

The one thing I kept getting time and time again was the notion of drastically increasing my calorie intake. For someone who physically can't maintain they're regular eating habits, this was beyond distressing. Frankly, I was naive for listening to anyone other than my GP who informed me that the calorie intake recommended for the first trimester is no more than two more bananas or one more slice of bread per day. That's all.

Mmm... delicious

This was fantastic news for someone plagued with nausea and vomiting for most of the day. I don't envy someone without morning sickness to regulate any new cravings or increased appetite.

That's just for the first trimester, as each trimester progresses you will need to increase your calorie intake slightly. By your second trimester you should add an extra 300 calories to your daily intake, which looks like this. By your third trimester increase it to 450 calories which consists of these meal ideas (adapt to make suitable for pregnancy where needed). At these stages you really just need to listen to your body over counting calories. By the end of my pregnancy if it couldn't run faster than me, I was eatin' it.

When doing your own research on eating during pregnancy cut-out hearsay, read up on it, check reliable websites and consult your GP. Not taking the piss with your pregnancy diet not only lowers the chances of health risks but also means you'll have an easier time getting back into shape post-pregnancy. Wins all round!

Reliable websites for healthily eating for two:

http://www.babycenter.com/eating-for-two

http://pregnancy.about.com/cs/nutritioninpregn/a/aa121000a.htm

http://www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancyhealth/eatingfortwo.html

Amber Teething Necklace Review

I heard about amber teething necklaces when my sister-in-law started using them on both my neice and nephew. She swears by them. In fact, every parent I've met who uses them does.

They're supposed to reduce teething symptoms such as red cheeks, dribbling, grouchiness, etc, etc. Thanks to the magic of the internet and the miracles of Google I also found out how they're supposed to work.

For those who don't know what I'm talking about please enjoy this generic image of a 

child enjoying their amber necklace.

From www.teethingsos.com website:

'Amber has been used to relieve the symptoms of teething in babies throughout Europe for generations.  Amber is a pain reliever and anti-inflammatory.  When amber is placed against the skin, the warmth of the skin causes it to release the active element - succinite.  Succinite is a natural constituent of plant and animal tissue and is involved in the bodies’ metabolic process.  The pharmaceutical industry use it today in many products including crop growth, anti-aging, cell renewal and anti-alcohol products and immune system repair products.'

This photo isn't taken from the teethingsos website, it's just an example of what I'm talking about.

That paragraph leaves out the importance of only using Baltic amber which is supposed to contain more succinite acid than other types of amber.

Personally, I'm not one for alternative medicines typically. My mother was a doctor so I grew up with a strong and thriving attitude that if something's bothering you nuke it to death with anything you can fit on a prescription pad. However, that was for me. Medicating away symptoms caused by other medication is fine and dandy for me, not for my precious little pookie. Parents are the birth place of the double standard. So I decided I'd give nature a chance. And then research it.... In hindsight I'll admit I did that arse-ways.

One of the arguments against amber teething beads that I came across was the implication that body heat alone could make solid amber particles soluble. Yes, in retrospect that did seem far fetched. Amber is fossilised tree sap that has survived hundreds of years. Not just that but Baltic amber has survived hundreds of years in literally Baltic conditions but somehow a baby's body heat is its kryptonite. As it turns out succinic acid (the active ingredient of amber's healing properties) has a melting point of 185 °C. I'll go out on a limb here to say that's warmer than your average baby. Oh yes, and succinic acid is both corrosive and combustible. You can read more here: (even if it is wikipedia) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Succinic_acid

Another argument I read was that in the unlikely event of the amber necklace working the way these websites claim they do, you are exposing your baby to an unmonitored dosage of an acid that was used in modern medicine.

However, so many parents swear by them, some of whom I know and trust and I can assure you are as sceptical and analytical as they come. So how do they work? 

One of the suggestions is a possible placebo effect. While I understand the general jist of placebo therapies, I'm still a bit hazy on how a placebo affects infants. I would have thought some verbal understanding would have to be involved. Maybe it's more a placebo for the parents who are imagining some change, like when parents imagine their kids are on a sugar high.  Maybe the child even responds to their parents' new, relaxed attitude. Who knows? Not me, like I said my knowledge of placebos isn't great and I was too busy trying to get Jim to stop trying to eat the amber to research properly.

While these are all very interesting points, I'm ashamed to say none of these factors swayed me personally. I'm not even dismissing the idea that they work, I like an open mind but usually with at least a little scientific backing.  Funnily enough, my issues with the healing qualities of amber required very little research at all. We tried it out for two whole days before ditching our attempt at becoming amber enthusiasts.

My first problem with the amber beads was trying to convince Jim to wear them and leave them alone. It was like trying to put a collar on a feral cat. The length of the necklace is tight enough to not cause a strangling hazard, but loose enough to not cause discomfort. Which in my baby's case meant asphyxiation every time he grabbed them to rip them to eye level for further investigation. For someone with the attention span of gnat, Jim was determined to the point of injury to see what the hell was around his neck. The less said about trying to convince him to keep it on his wrist or ankle the better.

The second problem was explaining to people what 'that funny little necklace' was exactly. I first encountered this problem with my fiancée's uncle, who is a lovely individual who just so happens to never miss an opportunity to rip the piss out of anyone asking for it (such as his nephew's girlfriend explaining some 'hippy crap' to him). It was only halfway through my explanation that I realised how daft I sounded but for whatever reason I kept going, possibly in the hopes that if I kept explaining some scientific merit would just appear out of nowhere. He sat there, patiently, with a dead pan expression, allowing me to finish before responding 'soooo.... it's a magic necklace?'

The amber teething necklace has since been converted into a magic bracelet for me. My teeth don't feel much different.

Helpful Products

Just a list of some products I found useful immediately post-pregnancy.

I had super sensitive skin for about three days post-partum, my doctor actually recommended Aveeno body moisturiser. 

I found it's not as heavy as other moisturisers intended for sensitive skin, it's fragrance is light but a bit sickly (for me personally) but it really offers delicate and irritated skin a lot of relief.

If you're someone who insists on a full face of makeup before leaving the house, initially you may find it hard to get the time for full on kabuki makeup with a new baby. Remember to keep it simple, like idiot simple, for the first few weeks until you get into the swing of things. Tinted moisturiser, mascara, concealer and setting powder was as much as I could manage when feeling 'fancy'.

Concealer will be your new best friend what with your fetching new dark circles and the odd blemish while your body sorts those damn hormones out. Personally, I am a huge of fan of Yves Saint Laurent's Touche Eclat. It's lightweight but offers high coverage. It's brush applicator makes it easy to use at any time. Although it's not described as a concealer by YSL (it's a bloody concealer), I use it as one and love it.

However, if your budget doesn't stretch to YSL (or you don't have access to duty free coming up anytime soon ;) ), I've found L'Oreal's Touche Eclat knock off, Touche Magique is a good alternative. It's a bit heavier, it's applicator isn't as good and it takes more effort to find the right match for your skin but it offers the same coverage.

Finally, I would really recommend Palmers Firming Butter. I picked it up by mistake thinking it was Palmers Stretch Mark Massage Lotion. Unfortunately, stretch mark obliterating lotions and potions are all useless, don't waste your money. After months of slathering myself in Bio-Oil which felt disgusting, I realised in the later stages of pregnancy that all it succeeded in doing was make me greasy. Stretch marks are unfortunately genetic and unavoidable, if you're going to get them, you get them. Luckily they fade over time all on their own. Mine have all vanished.

However, Palmers Firming Butter works wonders. Used on a particularly cellulicious derriere after a week or so the results were visible, which I was impressed with. I still use it now. A week of ODing on water and using the Firming Butter and the offensive parts of my anatomy look less offensive. It doesn't get rid of it totally but let's be realistic.

Hope this has been helpful xxx

The Skinny... or not so...

A little background and why I wanted to start this blog.

I had my beautiful son, Jim, seven months ago. As life-changingly amazing as he is and as happy as he makes me the months immediately following his birth were absolute hell on my vanity. To clarify, I wouldn't change my life for the world, I'm just saying I could have done without the flab, the bloat, and the cornucopia of other terrifying new tricks your body learns during pregnancy and afterwards.

I had totally unrealistic expectations of all things baby courtesy of my best friend, Michelle. She's a model, I should have known, she earns a living from unrealistic expectations. The girl popped her daughter out and was back modelling three weeks later.

What was I doing three weeks after giving birth? Sitting on over stuffed cushions, jiggling, leaking and crying that the hoodie I bought in the men's section was too small for me.

Fashion was not an option and make-up was an adventure everytime... and not the good kind. And absolutely nowhere in any baby book was there a section on trying to look in anyway nice. Hell, whatever about nice, I'd settle for publicly acceptable.

I may be painting an overly dramatic picture on the bleakness of post-baby bods, maybe I didn't look that bad (no, I totally looked that bad) but it does take time to feel comfortable in your own skin after such an enormous transition.

So in a nutshell, the aim of this blog is to offer tips, advice and to let women know that there are others out there stumbling and struggling with their post baby appearance too.